Goodbye To An Old Friend

My best friend is gone. Beringer came into my life way back in 1995 when I had just been thrown back into the bachelor pool. I've always been a dog lover, and acquiring a puppy at that stage of my life seemed infinitely appropriate.

We were inseparable and I have a lifetime's worth of memories of afternoon runs, chasing sea gulls on the beach and wrestling over the wettest, slimiest tennis balls you can imagine. For years it was just the two of us. And that was enough.

Eventually I married and Bear learned to accept sharing his house with others. But every evening when I got home, he'd be stretched out under the desk in my office waiting on me. It was his refuge from the craziness when things were a little too hectic.

I'm not going to go on about the last couple of years. About the onset of dysplasia and the pain he was in. About the devastation that diabetes rained down on him. Or the spiral he fell through the last few weeks.

I'm also not going to justify the decision I had to make with the usual "it was his time" or "he's in a better place", because as much as I know those to be true, I still feel guilty. I know that will change over time, and I know it had to be done, but I still look for him under my desk every time I'm in my office. And I still hear his bark when I see a squirrel run past my window.

Goodbye Bear - you were loved.

One final note. I was determined not to have Bear's final memories be of being carried into a car and carted off to the vet. Instead I was able to find an in-home euthanasia service run by a local vet. Bear was able to go out where he lived, and he took his final breath in his favorite spot - right under my desk.